😼 Dear Diary (What our new cat would write)


(Daniel Hollands) #1

Dear Diary, today was like most other days.

I woke up at 4:30, ready to jump on my subordinates bed to inform them I’m ready for breakfast, but a strange barrier prevented me from gaining access to the room. I later overheard them refer to this as a “door”, with the closing of said door designed to prevent me from getting in. I shall have words with them about this later, but decided in that instance the best course of action was to go back to sleep.

A couple of hours later I heard movement from the larger, smellier, of the two, as he made his way to the throne located within the small room at the back of the house. I have no idea the purpose of this device, but they both visit it frequently, so it’s probably a religious alter of some description. They don’t yet seem to understand I’m the only godly figure they need in their lives, which I reminded him of my rubbing up against his legs.

Upon finishing his worship, I was under the impression it was finally breakfast time, so I jumped to action and run downstairs… only to find he had gone back to the bedroom. Thankfully, this time the barrier was gone, so I proceeded to jump onto the bed to make myself comfortable. This morning it was particularly difficult to find a comfortable position, but ever the perfectionist, decided to just keep wriggling until I did.

(to be continued…)


(Daniel Hollands) #2

It was 7:00 am before either of them went downstairs, which normally means breakfast - but despite the fact I saw him grab the dry food, and a bowl, from the cupboard, I wanted to ensure this wasn’t another ruse like before, so reached up between his legs and meowed loudly. I think he got the message, as I was soon stuffing my face, but I have been waiting since 4:30, so next time I’ll give him a friendly nip on the back of the leg.

By 10am the smaller, nicer smelling, of the pair had left, and the uglier one was predisposed with other tasks, so I headed to the bedroom and made myself comfortable. This time the perfect position came instantly, and before I knew it, I was asleep.

(to be continued…)


(Jon) #3

On account of the hours I have to be out of the house, and given my feline owner needs daily medication, I now have a cat sitter. I thus get animal commentary every morning, plus photos - rather like a cat diary :cat: :cat2: :heart_eyes_cat: