Dear Diary, today was like most other days.
I woke up at 4:30, ready to jump on my subordinates bed to inform them I’m ready for breakfast, but a strange barrier prevented me from gaining access to the room. I later overheard them refer to this as a “door”, with the closing of said door designed to prevent me from getting in. I shall have words with them about this later, but decided in that instance the best course of action was to go back to sleep.
A couple of hours later I heard movement from the larger, smellier, of the two, as he made his way to the throne located within the small room at the back of the house. I have no idea the purpose of this device, but they both visit it frequently, so it’s probably a religious alter of some description. They don’t yet seem to understand I’m the only godly figure they need in their lives, which I reminded him of my rubbing up against his legs.
Upon finishing his worship, I was under the impression it was finally breakfast time, so I jumped to action and run downstairs… only to find he had gone back to the bedroom. Thankfully, this time the barrier was gone, so I proceeded to jump onto the bed to make myself comfortable. This morning it was particularly difficult to find a comfortable position, but ever the perfectionist, decided to just keep wriggling until I did.
(to be continued…)